If you re in a long term relationship, like “Long hair, don’t care” long term, Boundaries seem like a hard thing to do or to talk about. But whether you like it or not Boundaries are necessary, and there’s nothing about them that says they can’t change.
They shouldn’t be thought of as rigid constrictions designed to suffocate a relationship. Because they’re a road map for how your relationship will work and how you will get your needs met.
Here are 7 Boundaries to set with your partner for a healthier relationship
1- When You Get Alone Time
No matter how close you are, you’ll both eventually need your space. Not only will you need alone time, but you’ll need solo time with your friends and families. If you don’t set up these boundaries in your relationship, you’ll not only cause problems in your relationship but in the relationships, you have with your family and friends. In healthy relationships, both people are free to come and go as they please, and spend time with whomever they chose.
2- How You Act On Social Media
Social media posts are tricky. You might be happy to post all the details of your love life online, but your partner might not. And it could just be a matter of having co-workers and family members on social media that your partner doesn’t want to be involved in your private lives. Or, you could both be all about sharing. Or maybe you don’t like the idea of your partner chatting with exes online. The point is, you need to share your feelings before you share your status and respect those digital boundaries.
3- What You Share With Each Other
Maybe you have joint finances and you want your partner to know your ATM pin and your online banking passwords. What you share is an important boundary, because if you don’t set it, you could end up feeling violated.
4- How Often You’ll Communicate
Maybe you’re the type of person who loves getting texts and calls throughout the day. Or maybe you just want (or need) to be left alone while you’re at work, or out with your friends. This is often one of the first boundaries couples establish in a relationship. However you like to communicate is fine, but there are some do’s and don’t’s. For example, if your partner insists you check-in, and constantly calls or texts you when you’re not together, it could be an issue of power and control, which is a red flag of an unhealthy relationship. set some ground rules and expect them to be respected.
5- How You’ll Have Sex
Some people like sex every morning. Some people like it in odd locations. Some do it only on holidays. Some are wild, some slow and sensual. If you and your lover don’t know where your sexual boundaries are, one or both of you might spend precious time unhappily faking sexual expression, which is a clear sign of trouble on any relationship’s horizon. Let your needs and preferences be known, as well as how much wiggle room for experimentation exists within them.
6- How You Will Fight
How you will fight or settle disagreements is probably one of the most important boundaries you can set in a relationship. If one partner needs space when they’re upset, that’s an important boundary to acknowledge. You need to work together to determine what is an appropriate way for you both to deal with your anger, and how you’ll treat each other when you’re mad. You also need to establish what each partner needs when they’re sad, frustrated, etc.
7- What You Can Call Each Other
This boundary comes down to respect, and it’s all about personal preference. Some couples can playfully call each other names and say things like “omg, I’m going to kill you,” and it’s no big deal. For other couples, those kinds of statements are off-limits. Talk to your partner to make sure there are no trigger words or phrases that make them feel dissected.